I have always thought of myself as a bit leaden and clunky. Being popular was never me; at best it was one or two close friends, people I spent an inordinate amount of time with. It wasn’t a pretty childhood, and the “magic thing” didn’t happen as I became older. I was sort of hoping it would just spontaneously correct itself.
I’ve learnt it takes effort to overcome your personal deficiencies. For me, it was that social awkwardness from not having mixed in a large group, from not having learnt how to joke and banter, how to have that easy flow of words.
In recent years I’ve worked hard at developing a few social graces. Perhaps not being as blunt or dismissive as I used to be, really learning to listen and read what a person is trying to say, trying to join in groups a bit more.
These changes might be seen as “being fake”, but it’s more about expressing these other, dormant sides of yourself. Not character change, but rather character development. Some things aren’t as locked in as I thought they were. And for that I say thanks.